169.

It's not easy, taking someone from behind whilst wearing an electric blue coloured condom (tutti frutti), and not giggle, well, it's plain unprofessional. Note to self: 'Always ensure you have regular, as well as flavoured condoms in stock.'

Becky, a Transsexual friend, had suggested to one of her clients, P, that he pay me a visit, as he was keen to find someone who was both passive and active. Well, patience is a virtue, because it took more than six months of corresponding with P by mail and phone, before we actually did get to meet.

It's like that sometimes, even with the best intent, situations pop up, things go south and plans have to change, but at all times one should be polite, inevitably it pays off. Sure, I have my share of time-wasters, but I'm never one to let them get the better of me, remaining civil, calm and collected.

If however, someone persistently calls me, repeatedly asking questions of a sexual nature (just getting off), then they're entered into my phone memory as a 'TW', and all future calls/text are sent straight to voice-mail; they get bored eventually and go off to bother someone else with their tiresome fantasies. I don't do fantasy, I do real-life.

Don't ask me why, but the majority of time-wasters tend to be of Irish or Indian origin.

'Frances, could I see you at 3pm' (it's 2pm), an hour's notice, that's fine; five minutes later, 'Eh sorry, could you possibly do 2:30pm instead?' The rush is on, shower, make-up, lay out my stockings, heels, knickers and a lace slip, a spray of Chanel No 5 on the appropriate pulsing places...Bingo! I hate having to rush.

For M, this was his first-time, and confessed that he was rather nervous about it all, but had to fulfil his curiosity. I explained that he shouldn't worry, 'We're not about to try and split the atom, or go beyond the point of no return, I had a first-time too;' though for sure it wasn't going to be anything like mine, what a disaster that was, I'll tell you about it sometime.

The reason for M's hurry was, he's the head Chef of a well-known restaurant in the City, and had come to see me on his break between lunch and dinner. So much for a rest then, he returned back to work more exhausted than when he'd left, ah...but now with a skip in his step. 'Please, you must come and eat at the restaurant sometime Frances, I'll take care of you,' 'I will, I promise.'

Now I'm wondering, do those blue people in the movie Avatar, have blue cocks too, how exotic would that be.