175.

I've nothing against false-teeth, dentures that is, well sometimes my cock, but on occasion I find the need to drop a subtle hint, 'Oh I love that, but try nibbling on it as you would a lettuce leaf, not a crunchy raw carrot.'

Perish the thought I should ever become limp as a lettuce; I guess the problem lies in the slight diminished sensitivity in the oral department?

The last time I was at The Lancaster hotel (Molton Brown toiletries) was some 20 years ago, and oh what an improvement; I remember the evening well.

I'd been to see Donovan playing at Chelsea town hall, after which he invited me back to the hotel, whereupon we spent several hours passing a guitar around a small circle of musicians, each taking turns to sing.

I mentioned this to S as I walked into his room, nice little icebreaker I thought. 'Cool and how did he perform,' enquired S, 'Oh no it wasn't of a sexual nature, it was of the musical variety, when Francis was spelt with an 'I' not an 'E.'

S wins 'The tallest man I have ever met ' stakes, at six foot ten inches that's a full eighteen inches taller than me, I had to tilt my head backwards almost ninety degrees to make eye contact. Out of interest, when I arrived back home I Goggled the average height for an English woman, it's five foot-four inches, that's me bang on the money then.

He'd admired my site for several years (his words not mine), but had only now plucked up the courage to call, 'Why did you wait so long,' 'I suppose curiosity got the better of me, masturbation's all good and well but...anyway, I'm ready to try the real-deal.'

I've said this before, if one has spent the last ten, twenty, thirty, forty years of their life fucking, the curiosity of receiving rather than giving gets the better of some, and whilst these men would never consider having sex with a man, someone like myself offers an alternative proposition to this sexual conundrum.

My problem wasn't so much the height issue, we're all equal horizontally (as we are in death), but rather, the keyhole surgery I'd had on my left knee just two weeks earlier.

I'd believed the soreness of my knee was due to fifteen years of jogging on terra firma, but no my surgeon assured me, 'It's just one of those things Frances, look at how many seventy year old’s still jog, anyway, no more jogging for you, more cycling; swimming and rowing'...rowing?

I'd dosed up on plenty of prescription codeine before arriving, perhaps too much, which might explain my euphorically light head, prudently I declined the offer of champers (doggie bag please), lord, with that combination I'd have been tripping.

Trooper that I am, I took S from the doggie position (sexually, not the bag).

However, I couldn't bear more than a few minutes on my knees, so suggested I stand whilst he knelt on the bed; this is one of my preferred positions back at the Office, as I also get to watch in the wall-to-wall mirror.

Now it was time for me to be curious; 'So, at home do you have a custom made bed,' 'Yes Frances, and when I book a hotel room I have to request a king-sized bed and sleep diagonally.' Well thank goodness I'm just a short arsed five foot four inches then.